a work in progress

I have realized in the past couple days how "off" my thinking is... about everything. And frankly... I'm sick of it. I think that due to some hard situations and/or bad experiences I've had over the past 5-6 years, I have developed a really bad habit of focusing on the negative in every situation instead of trying hard to find the positive in it. What's most frustrating is that I know I do this, but I can't seem to shift my thinking. Well... I have made a decision in my mind that starting today- I'm going to try my hardest to be thankful for everything and I'm going to make a real effort to concentrate on the GOOD things instead of the not-so-good, or even bad things that happen in life. It's going to be a struggle for me because I'm very strong-willed and stubborn (grr!) but I know that something needs to change.

So the week started with bad car news and I let the stress of it all drown me. Then before I could get my head straight more stuff happened... instead of smiling and moving foward I let myself get swept up in all the negative thoughts again. Ugh. Trust me, no one is more annoyed with me than myself over this.

So today I have decided that the following things are true:

(1) Paying $700 to repair my car sucks... but I'm grateful to have a car that is almost paid off.

(2) Someone backing into Dale's car was a big pain in the ass, but I'm lucky I wasn't hurt and thankful that the insurance will pay the damages.

(3) Going to the doctor for a follow-up exam tomorrow is really scary (esp considering I'm terrified of all things medical!!!), but at least I have health insurance and can afford to go... and I'm grateful that things are going to be fine, and if something is wrong, then I have an amazing boyfriend, family and friends that will be there for me, no matter what.

(4) Lastly (and I hate to admit this, but I need to... deep breath.) hearing about everyone else's "engagements... wedding showers... weddings... baby news... ultrasounds... baby showers... and so on" constantly can be pretty depressing for me considering I want those things too, but I'm thankful that I have an amazing man in my life, a son that makes life rewarding and worthwhile, and a beautiful future to be excited about! And although I sometimes feel left out or not good enough for those things, it's ok because I know everything is going to work out for me too and when everyone else has "been there, done that" I'll be just starting out with all those wonderful things to still look foward to! Kinda nice, huh? lol

The point of this blogs is to jump start my journey to be happy where I am, with what I have no matter the circumstances. Wish me luck! Every journey starts with a single step...

Until next time...

♥maria

If it's not one thing... it's another.

This will be short and sweet. Here goes.

This.Week.Sucks.

My car is still in the shop... waiting for the warranty inspector to approve the repairs. (UGH) So after work tonight I decided to borrow Dale's car to go tan real quick... I haven't been in over a week and I feel like a ghost (EEK! WHITE!) and I was really looking forward to a 20 nap with no distractions... As always in my life I should have heard that voice in my head softly whispering "not so fast Malott" but I didn't. *SIGH*

So I back out of my spot in front of our apt and get about SEVEN parking spots away and.... CRASH!!!!

Ok, stop laughing. It's sooo not funny to me at this point. Yeah, so some jackass in an SUV just plowed into the rear passenger side of the Galant as I drove by... Hub cap went flying along with other misc car pieces... the rear side is all kinds of jacked up and the door is dented and scratched. It's really something. I took pics, maybe someday I will post them.

So thats the latest here. I'm beyond annoyed and I just want this week to be over already.

Someone remind me again... why it is I don't drink???

♥maria

At least it's Friday...

Why is it always something?? Ugh.

So we took my car in today because its a PIECE. There were a couple random things that need to be looked into. (1) A pinging sound from the hood which is never good. (2) A hestiation to accelerate... basically when I start driving it seems like the car is struggling to GO. SIGH. (3) Sometimes when you shift from PARK to REVERSE and then DRIVE it just stops. Double SIGH. The only "good" thing is that my extended warranty goes until Sept 19, 2009. So I think WHEW! Hopefully this won't be a big issue and the can repair mostly under warranty. Not so fast Maria... you know its never that easy.

So the service dept called back and talked to Dale a few minutes ago. Apparently the timing belt is loose, and the ABS sensor is out on one of my brakes, and another ABS harness is jacked up or something... whatever, I don't even know. The point is nothing that they said even remotely sounds like it would be the cause of ANY of the issues we brought it in for. OH! And the repair is going to range from $1,000- $1,500 so they have to have a "warranty inspector" come to the shop to see if they will even cover it. Seriously?!? I have to wait for Inspector Gadget to determine if I pay $0 versus $1500? Nice... real nice.

The most annoying part of this is that I owe $1200... on this car. $1200! The damn thing will be paid off in less than 5 months. Argh. So I owe $1200 and they want me to pay $1500 to fix the damn thing? Needless to say.... I. AM. NOT. HAPPY.

So I thought it would help to share... or vent. Guess what? It didn't. I'm still annoyed.

Happy Friday.

♥ maria

*My Family*

Here are some random pictures of Me, Dale, and B! I love my boys!!! ♥

Rainy days

Today is kind of one of those days... you know the kind. It's rainy and dark and overall gloomy outside. The kind of day that makes you want to cuddle up under a big blanket and watch old movies all day long. If I weren't stuck at work- that's exactly what I'd do.

So here I am to my 2nd post and I'm still trying to figure this whole blog thing out. I wasn't sure what to write about, because well... most of the blogs I read have something to focus on. An engagement to announce, a wedding being planned, a new job, a baby on the way, a devastating event that has forever changed their life... things like that. I don't have any "news"... no one thing to focus on and write about. I guess thats not entirely a bad thing, considering no news is sometimes good news, right? At least that's what they tell me.

So here is a little background of my life in case someone reads this and doesn't know anything about me. I'm 28 years old (which feels OLD to me), I'm a Purchasing Assistant for a small company based in Fairfield, OH (I've worked there since 2003 when I started as an Administrative Assistant), I have a BIG family (15 brothers and sisters!), I met my boyfriend Dale at work a few years ago (he works in Manufacturing and QC) and after being friends for about a year we started dating in 2007... (he is the person I'd been waiting for and I'm so lucky to have him!!) and lastly and most importantly I'm a mother. Brandon is 5 years old... almost 6 and I could not imagine life without him. Those of you close to me know that he was a huge surprise (understatement of the year!) and I went through a lot of bad times adjusting to being a single mom because of the circumstances, but I would not change any of it now. Sometimes the best things in our life come out of the worst things in our life. Life is funny that way! Fast forward to now... Dale, B and I have this great little family together and life is good. I finally have a partner and B finally has a dad- we are blessed.

But here's the thing... most of the time I'm happy and excited about life- dreaming about the future and thinking about all the good things to come. Other times I feel like the oldest 28 year old around. It seems like everyone I know is either engaged, married, pregnant, pregnant with their 2nd child, or has an amazing career. Sometimes I wonder why I've been stuck in the same place for so long? I wonder what is wrong with me that I'm so far behind everyone else? I know it's silly and ridiculous but it is what it is. I know "my time" is coming (lord knows I've been hearing that for years) but waiting is the hardest part...

Hopefully someday I will have big news to share and my blogs will be a little more appealing to read... (can you say Debbie Downer? lol) It's not that I'm unhappy or not thankful for what I have- because I AM BOTH HAPPY AND THANKFUL! I just see myself somewhere else in life and struggling to get there sometimes gets the best of me. I don't know any other way to be but honest.

Well... I should get back to work. Hopefully the rain clouds disappear and the sun comes out today. I could use some sunshine!

♥ maria

I want a Blog too!!

So I like the idea of having a blog... having somewhere to go to write about your life and how you feel about the things going on in is very appealing to me. AND it seems way better than one of those glittery pink books with a lock on it! (and more age-approriate! lol) Of course I have absolutely no clue what I'm doing yet, but I'm sure I'll figure out. Right??

This is going to be my place to go when I'm happy... or when I'm sad... when something amazing happens... or when something takes me by surprise. I hope to have a running account of my life and the memories that make it my own.

Most days my posts will be about the normal day-to-day stuff that happens with me Dale and B, but I'm hoping that I will have many exciting things to share as well as the days go by. I hope to fill this blog with my hopes and dreams, my successes and failures, my good days and my bad days... my life as it really is.

I'm not even sure if anyone will ever read my words, but that's ok with me. Let the blogging begin!

♥ maria