Wednesday, August 5, 2009

a work in progress

I have realized in the past couple days how "off" my thinking is... about everything. And frankly... I'm sick of it. I think that due to some hard situations and/or bad experiences I've had over the past 5-6 years, I have developed a really bad habit of focusing on the negative in every situation instead of trying hard to find the positive in it. What's most frustrating is that I know I do this, but I can't seem to shift my thinking. Well... I have made a decision in my mind that starting today- I'm going to try my hardest to be thankful for everything and I'm going to make a real effort to concentrate on the GOOD things instead of the not-so-good, or even bad things that happen in life. It's going to be a struggle for me because I'm very strong-willed and stubborn (grr!) but I know that something needs to change.

So the week started with bad car news and I let the stress of it all drown me. Then before I could get my head straight more stuff happened... instead of smiling and moving foward I let myself get swept up in all the negative thoughts again. Ugh. Trust me, no one is more annoyed with me than myself over this.

So today I have decided that the following things are true:

(1) Paying $700 to repair my car sucks... but I'm grateful to have a car that is almost paid off.

(2) Someone backing into Dale's car was a big pain in the ass, but I'm lucky I wasn't hurt and thankful that the insurance will pay the damages.

(3) Going to the doctor for a follow-up exam tomorrow is really scary (esp considering I'm terrified of all things medical!!!), but at least I have health insurance and can afford to go... and I'm grateful that things are going to be fine, and if something is wrong, then I have an amazing boyfriend, family and friends that will be there for me, no matter what.

(4) Lastly (and I hate to admit this, but I need to... deep breath.) hearing about everyone else's "engagements... wedding showers... weddings... baby news... ultrasounds... baby showers... and so on" constantly can be pretty depressing for me considering I want those things too, but I'm thankful that I have an amazing man in my life, a son that makes life rewarding and worthwhile, and a beautiful future to be excited about! And although I sometimes feel left out or not good enough for those things, it's ok because I know everything is going to work out for me too and when everyone else has "been there, done that" I'll be just starting out with all those wonderful things to still look foward to! Kinda nice, huh? lol

The point of this blogs is to jump start my journey to be happy where I am, with what I have no matter the circumstances. Wish me luck! Every journey starts with a single step...

Until next time...

♥maria


Monday, August 3, 2009

If it's not one thing... it's another.

This will be short and sweet. Here goes.

This.Week.Sucks.

My car is still in the shop... waiting for the warranty inspector to approve the repairs. (UGH) So after work tonight I decided to borrow Dale's car to go tan real quick... I haven't been in over a week and I feel like a ghost (EEK! WHITE!) and I was really looking forward to a 20 nap with no distractions... As always in my life I should have heard that voice in my head softly whispering "not so fast Malott" but I didn't. *SIGH*

So I back out of my spot in front of our apt and get about SEVEN parking spots away and.... CRASH!!!!

Ok, stop laughing. It's sooo not funny to me at this point. Yeah, so some jackass in an SUV just plowed into the rear passenger side of the Galant as I drove by... Hub cap went flying along with other misc car pieces... the rear side is all kinds of jacked up and the door is dented and scratched. It's really something. I took pics, maybe someday I will post them.

So thats the latest here. I'm beyond annoyed and I just want this week to be over already.

Someone remind me again... why it is I don't drink???

♥maria