I have realized in the past couple days how "off" my thinking is... about everything. And frankly... I'm sick of it. I think that due to some hard situations and/or bad experiences I've had over the past 5-6 years, I have developed a really bad habit of focusing on the negative in every situation instead of trying hard to find the positive in it. What's most frustrating is that I know I do this, but I can't seem to shift my thinking. Well... I have made a decision in my mind that starting today- I'm going to try my hardest to be thankful for everything and I'm going to make a real effort to concentrate on the GOOD things instead of the not-so-good, or even bad things that happen in life. It's going to be a struggle for me because I'm very strong-willed and stubborn (grr!) but I know that something needs to change.
So the week started with bad car news and I let the stress of it all drown me. Then before I could get my head straight more stuff happened... instead of smiling and moving foward I let myself get swept up in all the negative thoughts again. Ugh. Trust me, no one is more annoyed with me than myself over this.
So today I have decided that the following things are true:
(1) Paying $700 to repair my car sucks... but I'm grateful to have a car that is almost paid off.
(2) Someone backing into Dale's car was a big pain in the ass, but I'm lucky I wasn't hurt and thankful that the insurance will pay the damages.
(3) Going to the doctor for a follow-up exam tomorrow is really scary (esp considering I'm terrified of all things medical!!!), but at least I have health insurance and can afford to go... and I'm grateful that things are going to be fine, and if something is wrong, then I have an amazing boyfriend, family and friends that will be there for me, no matter what.
(4) Lastly (and I hate to admit this, but I need to... deep breath.) hearing about everyone else's "engagements... wedding showers... weddings... baby news... ultrasounds... baby showers... and so on" constantly can be pretty depressing for me considering I want those things too, but I'm thankful that I have an amazing man in my life, a son that makes life rewarding and worthwhile, and a beautiful future to be excited about! And although I sometimes feel left out or not good enough for those things, it's ok because I know everything is going to work out for me too and when everyone else has "been there, done that" I'll be just starting out with all those wonderful things to still look foward to! Kinda nice, huh? lol
The point of this blogs is to jump start my journey to be happy where I am, with what I have no matter the circumstances. Wish me luck! Every journey starts with a single step...
Until next time...
2 years ago